I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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