He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
