She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
