my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize