An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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