yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
