i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
