I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
