My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize