There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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