Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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