she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Can Purell be used as lube?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Can I color on your dick again?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
