i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
