if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
