Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
