I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
