jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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