I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
