my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
