Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize