so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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