i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
