it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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