your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
