Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
