I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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