i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
