Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
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She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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