btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
