honey bunches of taint.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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