brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
