she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
