I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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