At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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