he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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