If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
