i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
