I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
