Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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