i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
