OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
