I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
