i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
