the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
