i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
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I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
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I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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