i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
