Dual....:-)
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
