I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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