He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
