It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
this boner is exhausting
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
