Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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