Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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