I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
