If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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