So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
