My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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