none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
