Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
