sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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