I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
