Already got asked if we're dating
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
