Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm always down for nudity.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
