shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
